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Thread: call centre q&a

  1. #1
    Newbie willo's Avatar
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    Default call centre q&a

    Actual call centre conversations !!!!!

    Customer: "I've been ringing 0800 2100 for two days and can't get through to enquiries, can you help?".
    Operator: "Where did you get that number from, sir?".
    Customer: "It was on the door to the Travel Centre".
    Operator: "Sir, they are our opening hours".
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Samsung Electronics
    Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?"
    Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about".
    Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?"
    Operator: "I think you mean the telephone point on the wall".
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------
    RAC Motoring Services
    Caller: "Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling in Australia ?"
    Operator: "Doesn't the product name give you a clue?"
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------
    Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in France ):
    "If I register my car in France , do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?"
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------
    Directory Enquiries
    Caller: "I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please".
    Operator: "I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?"
    Caller: "Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off".
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------
    Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
    Operator: "Woven? Are you sure?"
    Caller: "Yes. That's what it says on the label; Woven in Scotland ".
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------
    On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator:
    "I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on".
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------
    Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop".
    Customer: "OK".
    Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?".
    Customer: "No".
    Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
    Customer: "No".
    Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?".
    Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'".
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------
    Tech Support: "OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"
    Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------
    Caller: "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file back again?".
    ---------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------
    There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause".
    Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!):

    Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?"
    Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
    Operator: "What sort of trouble??"
    Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
    Operator: "Went away?"
    Caller: "They disappeared."
    Operator: "Hmm So what does your screen look like now?"
    Caller: "Nothing."
    Operator: "Nothing??"
    Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
    Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"
    Caller: "How do I tell?"
    Operator: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??"
    Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"
    Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
    Caller: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
    Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"
    Caller: "What's a monitor?"
    Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??"
    Caller: "I don't know."
    Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??"
    Caller: "Yes, I think so."
    Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.
    Caller: "Yes, it is."
    Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??"
    Caller: "No."
    Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.."
    Caller: "Okay, here it is."
    Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."
    Caller: "I can't reach."
    Operator: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??"
    Caller: "No."
    Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??"
    Caller: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."
    Operator: "Dark??"
    Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.
    " Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."
    Caller: "I can't."
    Operator: "No? Why not??"
    Caller: "Because there's a power failure."
    Operator: "A power......... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now.
    Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??"
    Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
    Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
    Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"
    Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
    Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??"
    Operator: "Tell them you're too f --- ing stupid to own a computer!!!!!"

  2. #2
    it lives here fullhouse's Avatar
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    lmfao
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  3. #3
    it lives here fullhouse's Avatar
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    Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
    Female customer: A white one...







    ===============



    Customer: Hi, this is Maureen. I can't get my diskette out.
    Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?
    Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
    Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
    Customer: No , wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry....


    ===============


    Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
    Customer: Your left or my left?


    ===============


    Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
    Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
    Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and...
    Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates.


    ===============


    Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...


    ============== =


    Customer: I have problems printing in red...
    Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
    Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.


    ===============


    Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
    Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at Woolies.


    ===============


    Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
    Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
    Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
    Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
    Customer:! OK
    Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
    Customer: Yes
    Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
    Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work...


    ===============


    Tech support: Your password is the small letter "a" as in apple, a capital letter V as n Victor, the number 7.
    Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters ?


    == =============


    Customer: can't get on the Internet.
    Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
    Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
    Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
    Customer: Five stars.


    ===============


    Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
    Customer: Netscape.
    Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
    Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.


    ===============


    Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.


    ===============


    Tech support: How may I help you?
    Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
    Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
    Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?


    ===============


    A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
    Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
    Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine."


    ===============


    And last but not least...

    Tech support: "Okay Colin, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
    Customer: I don't have a P.
    Tech support: On your keyboard, Colin.
    Customer: What do you mean?
    Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Colin.
    Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!!
    F*CK THE FACTORY
    1970 Holden HG Premier
    2000 Holden VT SS LS1
    2008 Yamaha YZF-R1
    your car could be in here....fullhouse_images

  4. #4
    is a sexy beast! NOS440's Avatar
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