The Canon. - Aussie V8 | Holden - Ford

STREETFIRE68 · 15-08-2008, 09:56 PM

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family.

On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, 'Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon.'

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.

'Good morning, Ma'am', he said, 'I've come to...'

'Oh, no need to explain,' Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, 'I've been expecting you.'

'Have you really?' said the photographer. 'Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?'

'Well, that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat'.

After a moment she asked, blushing, 'Well, where do we start?'

'Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there.'

'Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!'

'Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results.'

'My, that's a lot!', gasped Mrs. Smith .

'Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that.'

'Don't I know it,' said Mrs. Smith quietly.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. 'This was done on the top of a bus,' he said .

'Oh, my word!' Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat. 'And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with.'

'She was difficult?' asked Mrs. Smith .

'Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look.'

'Four and five deep?' said Mrs. Smith , her eyes wide with amazement.

'Yes', the photographer replied. 'And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in.'

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. 'Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh...equipment?'

'It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod and we can get to work right away.'

'Tripod?'

'Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on - it's just too big for anyone to hold.'

Mrs. Smith fainted...

wabbit · 15-08-2008, 11:07 PM

brilliant

that was just full of double/triple entendres

I'm giggling like a little schoolgirl

tha.fubar.house · 16-08-2008, 12:16 AM

Lol, it's such a classic, I was speaking to somebody about the joke who says the joke was pretty much the same with different punchlines about 40 years ago. It truely is the only really good photography junkie joke about.
Cheers for sharing.

toryman · 17-08-2008, 12:02 AM

Haha, absolute gold.

15-08-2008, 09:56 PM	#1 (permalink)
STREETFIRE68 Chrome Bars = Real Cars Trade Rating: (0) Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Adelaide, SA Ride: Your sister :) Posts: 1,317	The Canon. The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, 'Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon.' Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. 'Good morning, Ma'am', he said, 'I've come to...' 'Oh, no need to explain,' Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, 'I've been expecting you.' 'Have you really?' said the photographer. 'Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?' 'Well, that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat'. After a moment she asked, blushing, 'Well, where do we start?' 'Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there.' 'Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!' 'Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results.' 'My, that's a lot!', gasped Mrs. Smith . 'Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that.' 'Don't I know it,' said Mrs. Smith quietly. The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. 'This was done on the top of a bus,' he said . 'Oh, my word!' Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat. 'And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with.' 'She was difficult?' asked Mrs. Smith . 'Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look.' 'Four and five deep?' said Mrs. Smith , her eyes wide with amazement. 'Yes', the photographer replied. 'And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in.' Mrs. Smith leaned forward. 'Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh...equipment?' 'It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod and we can get to work right away.' 'Tripod?' 'Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on - it's just too big for anyone to hold.' Mrs. Smith fainted... __________________ An optimist is someone who falls off the Empire State Building, and after 50 floors says 'So far so good!' ___________________________________ Last edited by STREETFIRE68; Today at 07:50 PM. Last edited by STREETFIRE68; 15-08-2008 at 09:58 PM.

15-08-2008, 11:07 PM	#2 (permalink)
wabbit smell something burning? Trade Rating: (0) Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Rockhampton Ride: VK Commy slugmobile, Kia Rio, LH Torry Posts: 6,100	brilliant that was just full of double/triple entendres I'm giggling like a little schoolgirl __________________ Nothing to see, here Move along, please .

16-08-2008, 12:16 AM	#3 (permalink)
tha.fubar.house casual poster Trade Rating: (0) Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Canberra Ride: 1991 BMW E36 320I Posts: 208	Lol, it's such a classic, I was speaking to somebody about the joke who says the joke was pretty much the same with different punchlines about 40 years ago. It truely is the only really good photography junkie joke about. Cheers for sharing. __________________ FubarHouse.com.au - Crazy about getting close to the action!

17-08-2008, 12:02 AM	#4 (permalink)
toryman Pure Evil Trade Rating: (0) Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Im a local everywhere Ride: everything i can get my hands on, 4 wheels or 2 Posts: 2,364	Haha, absolute gold. __________________ Now available in Sober, but for a limited time only! I wish it wasn't illegal to shoot stupid people.

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