Vet fees - Aussie V8 | Holden - Ford

Tinman · 07-08-2008, 08:47 PM

A woman brought a very limp duck into a vet's surgery.

As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened
To the bird's chest.
After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said 'I'm so sorry, your
Duck, 'Cuddles' has passed away'

The distressed owner wailed 'Are you sure ?'

'Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead' he replied.

'How can you be so sure,' she protested. ' I mean, you haven't done any testing
On him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something'

The Vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room, and returned a few
Minutes later with a black Labrador retriever.

As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs,
Put his paws on the table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then
Looked at the Vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog, and took it out, and returned a few minutes later with
A cat.
The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately at the bird from
Head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, mewed softly
And strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, 'I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most
Definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck'.

The vet turned to his PC, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed
To the woman.

The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. '$150!', she cried, $150 just
To tell me my duck is dead!'

The vet just shrugged, and said 'I'm sorry.

If you'd taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the
Lab report and the Cat scan, it's now $150

Tinman · 07-08-2008, 08:49 PM

specifically to his upper legs.

He went to the hospital, and was promptly admitted after being diagnosed with second-degree burns

With his skin already starting to blister, and the severe pain he was in,
the doctor prescribed continuous intravenous feeding with saline,electrolytes, a sedative, and 2 Viagra pills every hour.

The nurse, who was rather astounded, asked, 'What good will Viagra do for him, Doctor?'

The doctor replied, 'It won't do anything for his condition, but it'll keep the sheets off his legs.'

CK_318 · 08-08-2008, 06:14 PM

geez old mate must of been pretty well endowed

toryman · 16-08-2008, 11:39 PM

Yeah, both not bad!

07-08-2008, 08:47 PM	#1 (permalink)
Tinman Here to learn Trade Rating: (0) Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Redlands Ride: Landcruiser Posts: 320	Vet fees A woman brought a very limp duck into a vet's surgery. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened To the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said 'I'm so sorry, your Duck, 'Cuddles' has passed away' The distressed owner wailed 'Are you sure ?' 'Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead' he replied. 'How can you be so sure,' she protested. ' I mean, you haven't done any testing On him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something' The Vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room, and returned a few Minutes later with a black Labrador retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, Put his paws on the table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then Looked at the Vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the dog, and took it out, and returned a few minutes later with A cat. The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately at the bird from Head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, mewed softly And strolled out of the room. The vet looked at the woman and said, 'I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most Definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck'. The vet turned to his PC, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed To the woman. The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. '$150!', she cried, $150 just To tell me my duck is dead!' The vet just shrugged, and said 'I'm sorry. If you'd taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab report and the Cat scan, it's now $150 __________________ Cheers Tinman Jack of all trades master of none

07-08-2008, 08:49 PM	#2 (permalink)
Tinman Here to learn Trade Rating: (0) Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Redlands Ride: Landcruiser Posts: 320	Sunburn specifically to his upper legs. He went to the hospital, and was promptly admitted after being diagnosed with second-degree burns With his skin already starting to blister, and the severe pain he was in, the doctor prescribed continuous intravenous feeding with saline,electrolytes, a sedative, and 2 Viagra pills every hour. The nurse, who was rather astounded, asked, 'What good will Viagra do for him, Doctor?' The doctor replied, 'It won't do anything for his condition, but it'll keep the sheets off his legs.' __________________ Cheers Tinman Jack of all trades master of none

08-08-2008, 06:14 PM	#3 (permalink)
CK_318 my shoulder is watching U Trade Rating: (0) Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Muswellbrook NSW Ride: VN V6 Executive Posts: 4,014	geez old mate must of been pretty well endowed __________________ Puppy eyes hide the sick mind behind

16-08-2008, 11:39 PM	#4 (permalink)
toryman Pure Evil Trade Rating: (0) Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Im a local everywhere Ride: everything i can get my hands on, 4 wheels or 2 Posts: 2,364	Yeah, both not bad! __________________ Now available in Sober, but for a limited time only! I wish it wasn't illegal to shoot stupid people.

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