Wives???? - Aussie V8 | Holden - Ford

namoran · 01-07-2008, 12:07 AM

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
Sacha Guitry

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
Hemant Joshi

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. Socrates

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
Dumas

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?
Sigmund Freud

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
Anonymous

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
Henny Youngman

"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."
Sam Kinison

"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."
James Holt McGavran

"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't."
Patrick Murray

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
Nash

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...
Anonymous

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
Henny Youngman

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Rodney Dangerfield

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
MiltonBerle

Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.
Anonymous

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
Anonymous

First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

SEND THIS TO ALL THE GUYS TO GIVE THEM A GOOD LAUGH......AND TO THOSE LADIES WITH A SENSE OF HUMOUR WHO CAN HANDLE IT!!!!!!!

THE END.

LX8VD69 · 01-07-2008, 12:36 AM

hahahahahahaha nice

cheers adam

MorryLX · 18-07-2008, 10:12 AM

hahahahah

why do women get periods?

because they deserve them.

AGGRO · 18-07-2008, 11:49 AM

bahahah awesome!

morry i love that one. i nearly spat my food out reading that!

LH SLR5000 · 18-07-2008, 02:26 PM

Oh so true!

toryman · 19-07-2008, 01:37 AM

Lol, nice work.

Why do women have orgasms?

So they can moan about something even when theyre enjoying themselves.

(No offence to our female members, just jokes!)

CK_318 · 19-07-2008, 04:03 PM

BUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! frikking hilarious i like this one the most i reckon

Quote:

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Rodney Dangerfield

LX8VD69 · 19-07-2008, 04:13 PM

why does the bride wear white? arent all kitchen appliances white?

cheers adam

Jezza · 31-07-2008, 08:38 AM

A wife is an attachment you screw on the bed to do the housework...

Jezza · 31-07-2008, 10:31 AM

After 20 years of marriage, a couple was lying in bed one evening, when the woman felt her husband begin to fondle her in ways he hadn't in quite some time.

It almost tickled as his fingers started at her neck, and then began moving down past the small of her back. He then caressed her shoulders and neck, slowly worked his hand down over her breasts, stopping just over her lower stomach.

He then proceeded to place his hand on her left inner arm, caressed past the side of her breast again, working down her side, passed gently over her buttock and down her leg to her calf.

Then, he proceeded up her inner thigh, stopping just at the uppermost portion of her leg. He continued in the same manner on her right side, then suddenly stopped, rolled over and became silent.

As she had become quite aroused by this caressing, she asked in a loving voice, "Honey that was wonderful. Why did you stop?" "I found the remote," he mumbled.

01-07-2008, 12:07 AM	#1 (permalink)
namoran Newbie Trade Rating: (0) Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Southwest WA Ride: VN Commodore / Jeep Posts: 16	Wives???? *When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.* Sacha Guitry After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. Hemant Joshi By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. Socrates Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them. Dumas The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want? Sigmund Freud I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. Anonymous "Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays." Henny Youngman "I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years." Sam Kinison "There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage." James Holt McGavran "I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't." Patrick Murray Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it, 2. Whenever you're right, shut up. Nash The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once... Anonymous You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. Henny Youngman My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. Rodney Dangerfield A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. MiltonBerle Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy. Anonymous A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine." Anonymous First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive." SEND THIS TO ALL THE GUYS TO GIVE THEM A GOOD LAUGH......AND TO THOSE LADIES WITH A SENSE OF HUMOUR WHO CAN HANDLE IT!!!!!!! THE END.

01-07-2008, 12:36 AM	#2 (permalink)
LX8VD69 south paw boxer Trade Rating: (1) Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: victor harbor SA Ride: LX SLR, LH SL & VL exec Posts: 692	hahahahahahaha nice cheers adam __________________ UP THE DRAGONS cover up and fight your way out the problem with most relationships is communication, too much communication! RIP 05

19-07-2008, 01:37 AM	#6 (permalink)
toryman Pure Evil Trade Rating: (0) Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Im a local everywhere Ride: everything i can get my hands on, 4 wheels or 2 Posts: 2,364	Lol, nice work. Why do women have orgasms? So they can moan about something even when theyre enjoying themselves. (No offence to our female members, just jokes!) __________________ Now available in Sober, but for a limited time only! I wish it wasn't illegal to shoot stupid people.

19-07-2008, 04:13 PM	#8 (permalink)
LX8VD69 south paw boxer Trade Rating: (1) Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: victor harbor SA Ride: LX SLR, LH SL & VL exec Posts: 692	why does the bride wear white? arent all kitchen appliances white? cheers adam __________________ UP THE DRAGONS cover up and fight your way out the problem with most relationships is communication, too much communication! RIP 05

31-07-2008, 10:31 AM	#10 (permalink)
Jezza Newbie Trade Rating: (0) Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Goulburn NSW Ride: HJ Sandman 308 Posts: 12	After 20 years of marriage, a couple was lying in bed one evening, when the woman felt her husband begin to fondle her in ways he hadn't in quite some time. It almost tickled as his fingers started at her neck, and then began moving down past the small of her back. He then caressed her shoulders and neck, slowly worked his hand down over her breasts, stopping just over her lower stomach. He then proceeded to place his hand on her left inner arm, caressed past the side of her breast again, working down her side, passed gently over her buttock and down her leg to her calf. Then, he proceeded up her inner thigh, stopping just at the uppermost portion of her leg. He continued in the same manner on her right side, then suddenly stopped, rolled over and became silent. As she had become quite aroused by this caressing, she asked in a loving voice, "Honey that was wonderful. Why did you stop?" "I found the remote," he mumbled. __________________ When you believe you can compensate for your lack of skill by doubling your efforts - there is no end to what you cannot do...

18-07-2008, 10:12 AM	#3 (permalink)
MorryLX Newbie Trade Rating: (0) Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Box Hill north, Melbourne Ride: LX Torana, ford laser :) Posts: 1	hahahahah why do women get periods? because they deserve them.

18-07-2008, 11:49 AM	#4 (permalink)
AGGRO Senior Member Trade Rating: (0) Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Brisbane Ride: LH Torana SL/R 5000 Posts: 501	bahahah awesome! morry i love that one. i nearly spat my food out reading that!

18-07-2008, 02:26 PM	#5 (permalink)
LH SLR5000 casual poster Trade Rating: (1) Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Perth Ride: LH SLR5000 Posts: 141	Oh so true!

31-07-2008, 08:38 AM	#9 (permalink)
Jezza Newbie Trade Rating: (0) Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Goulburn NSW Ride: HJ Sandman 308 Posts: 12	A wife is an attachment you screw on the bed to do the housework...

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